Dear Hubby, I Need You to Lie to Me!
Dear Hubby, I Need You to Lie to Me!
I know it’s vain, but I want compliments
I posted this on Medium in February 2023, but as I move my writing off Medium and onto Substack, I’m sharing my favorites. This is one my husband really enjoyed.
Sexy shirt? Check.
Short skirt? Check.
Makeup and hair? Lookin’ good!
I have on my high heels. I spent time shaving my legs. I feel gorgeous.
I don’t think I’ve looked better in the last decade. One last check in the mirror and…yep, I look as good as I get! I feel fabulous, and I can’t wait for date night.
I walk downstairs to get my husband’s reaction.
“How do I look?” I smile.
(Do you see where this is going?)
He’s looking at his computer and doesn’t look up. “You look fine.”
“You actually have to look at me.”
He looks up for a moment. “I’m sticking to my answer. You look fine.”
“That’s all I get?”
“What more do you want?”
“Tell me I look beautiful,” I plead.
“I did.” He’s utterly baffled at this point. “I said you look fine.”
Guys, seriously. “You look fine,” is not a compliment. In fact, it’s similar to telling a woman to calm down when she’s pissed off.
My husband is not a stupid man. He’s an engineer; he fixes computers; he knows an annoying amount about many topics. Whenever I try to prove him wrong, it generally doesn’t go well for me.
But the man is oblivious!
I’ve been telling him, flat out, for years that even if he is lying, he needs to compliment me.
I tell him almost daily that he’s handsome, hot, gorgeous, or good-lookin’. What do I get? “Fine.”
I’m an aging woman, dammit! I need more than that!
I’ve gone to the same hairstylist for 18 years and don’t get the same cut or color more than two or three times in a row.
My hair has been colored different shades of blonde, red, and brown. It’s gone from short to shorter to shaved.
The only response I get from my husband is, “You look fine.”
When I beg for a reaction, he tells me, “You know I don’t notice hair.”
Come on! My hair costs five times as much to get done as yours does. Can you at least say it looks nice to make it feel like it was worth the money? One little white lie isn’t going to kill you, man!
Last week, in a moment of highest idiocy, I teased my husband by saying, “Don’t you think I could get somebody else if you don’t shape up?”
Without missing a beat, he answered, “With your personality? Of course, you could!”
So I’m a woman with a great personality. I can live with that. But I’d kind of like him to compliment my smile, eyes, or even my big boobs occasionally.
I’m just going to take another sip of the coffee he made me this morning while I think a little more about that. He brought it over to me like he does every morning before he did the dishes that were left in the sink last night. Then he took my car to fill it with gas so I could make it to an appointment later.
On second thought, I may have the best husband on Earth. His actions say more than words ever could.